Terry Gaither Advice is a sponsored advice column in which Mr. Gaither lends his own advice and wisdom from his twenty years of working in the professional field on Wall Street and his last six years working from his cell in a maximum security, 24-hour watch mental facility. “Dear Terry, I’ve always prided myself onContinue reading “Terry Gaither Advice on Bosses, Interviews and Religion”
Author Archives: Zack Stovall
Brazilian Crash Test Dummies Abound in Key West
I’ve had several friends send me links to this story. It’s something you should all read because these people are among you every day: Taking razors to their respective crotches, not only in broad day light, but while driving to meet you or someone you know. Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash Tuesday atContinue reading “Brazilian Crash Test Dummies Abound in Key West”
This Is The Sound of Me Vomiting All Over Myself In Fear
This Beard I Have Grown Is Having the Inverse Effect On My Perceived Masculinity That I Had Intended
The bar scene is one of immediate scrutiny and, very often, utter despair. One needs a competitive advantage, a shot in the arm, so the speak. I am that one. And that shot in the arm is hair on my face. I look like the Brawny Paper Towel Man. This beard is going to beContinue reading “This Beard I Have Grown Is Having the Inverse Effect On My Perceived Masculinity That I Had Intended”
TROOOOOOOOOOOOON
Oh man. Oh man, this looks sweet. It’s like the FUTURE is NOW! Tron was a revolutionary movie that was one of the first to incorporate CGI as an integral part of the film. It starred Jeff “The Dude” Bridges and the Guy Who Played Billy Zane’s Bodyguard In Titanic (named “Lovejoy,” tee hee!) andContinue reading “TROOOOOOOOOOOOON”
Just When You Thought Your Messiah Couldn’t Get Any Cooler
Jesus slaying vampires. Thank you, Internets. I suppose if the whole creating-a-cross as a defense against vampires works, Jesus himself would have to do a pretty good job as well. I’ve always said my grandpa – who literally carried garlic in his front pocket to eat with his every meal – would be a downrightContinue reading “Just When You Thought Your Messiah Couldn’t Get Any Cooler”
Zack’s Hate Mail from the Tiger Who Mauled Roy of ‘Siegfried and Roy’
In our offices, everyday it seems like Zack gets a piece of Hate Mail from just about any and everybody you could imagine. Here are some of the keepers: Dear Potential Prey, I’m only going to say this once, because that’s how many times I have to say something before a situation I find bothersomeContinue reading “Zack’s Hate Mail from the Tiger Who Mauled Roy of ‘Siegfried and Roy’”
If You’re Getting Divorced Over Breakfast, Why Not At Panera?
Uuuuugggghhhh. Alright, a couple of background notes about just what it is you’re seeing here: 1.) These people are getting a divorce in the near future. 2.) They do not know how to whisper; there’s no physical way to yell under your breath, although they tried valiantly. For like, an hour. 3.) The woman isContinue reading “If You’re Getting Divorced Over Breakfast, Why Not At Panera?”
Finally, We Can Categorize This Insult More Thoroughly
If children are the future, expect the future to be just as insult-laiden as the present day, but more thoroughly so. A third grade kid in Washington D.C. left a long, multiple-page manifesto, titled “Types of Bitches.” The taxonomy is pretty self-explanatory: there’s a bitch, and it fits a certain profile. Wondrous. Anything that keeps meContinue reading “Finally, We Can Categorize This Insult More Thoroughly”
Terry Gaither Advice on Toyota, Interns and Distant Spouses
Terry Gaither Advice is a sponsored advice column in which Mr. Gaither lends his own advice and wisdom from his twenty years of working in the professional field on Wall Street and his last six years working from his cell in a maximum security, 24-hour watch mental facility. “Dear Terry, So, a vast majorityContinue reading “Terry Gaither Advice on Toyota, Interns and Distant Spouses”
ZACK STOVALL 