Finally, We Can Categorize This Insult More Thoroughly

If children are the future, expect the future to be just as insult-laiden as the present day, but more thoroughly so.

A third grade kid in Washington D.C. left a long, multiple-page manifesto, titled “Types of Bitches.” The taxonomy is pretty self-explanatory: there’s a bitch, and it fits a certain profile. Wondrous. Anything that keeps me from having to think on the fly. Now I have a reference manual.

Now, there’s a page missing in the middle, and the last page is page six, listing a 90th type of bitch, but there’s nothing to say that this list isn’t infinite. Finding the remaining pages – especially that middle one – would be like finding the Dead Sea Scrolls.

If the Dead Sea Scrolls had the words “Spanish bitches who think they all that because of their hair,” which is TOTALLY possible, however unlikely.

The whole list is here. Personal favorites include:

  • 16) Bitches who think their man love them but get pregnant and be left alone
  • 26) Bitches that be ignoring you when they know they can hear you
  • 37) Same wearing clothes each day bitches [Ed. Note: That’s so true! I hate bitches who be wearing the same clothes everyday!]

(h/t And I Am Not Lying Blog)

Published by Zack Stovall

Writer living in New York, NY.

2 thoughts on “Finally, We Can Categorize This Insult More Thoroughly

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