So This Guy In My Office, Dale From Accounting, Was Trying To Print Something the Other Day

And then EVERYTHING WENT AWRY AWESOME. Remember folks, the best part about a three day weekend is a four day work week. Happy WednesdaythatfeelslikeaTuesday.

Former Mrs. Jim Joyce: “Well That Just Figures”

TOLEDO, OH – When asked about her ex-husband, Umpire Jim Joyce, and his blown call that cost Detroit Tiger’s pitcher Armando Galarraga a perfect game, an indignant Eunice Hampton-Joyce said “Well, that just figures” through gnashed teeth. “He was wrong about everything,” nagged Hampton-Joyce, who claims to be happier alone than with Joyce. “How toContinue reading “Former Mrs. Jim Joyce: “Well That Just Figures””

Not To Take Anything Away From That Mother’s Day Perfect Game, But Did He Do It On LSD? Didn’t Think So

As you know, yesterday Oakland Athletics pitcher Dallas Braden pitched a perfect game. That means 27 batters, 27 outs. Only 109 pitches. Pretty sick stuff. But color me unimpressed. Okay, okay, I’m just kidding. It’s ridiculously impressive. But Dock Ellis pitched a no-hitter one time. And while I understand that that – while just asContinue reading “Not To Take Anything Away From That Mother’s Day Perfect Game, But Did He Do It On LSD? Didn’t Think So”

The Pissed Off Party: We’re Here To Wreck Congress With a Cane, Thank You

Finally! A political party with some BRATITUDE!! From a buddy of mine with a full head of hair, apparently, there is a political party – The Pissed Off Party – that is aiming to replace every incumbant in the current United States Congress; Republican, Democrat, Independent, Green and whatever it is you call Joe Lieberman.Continue reading “The Pissed Off Party: We’re Here To Wreck Congress With a Cane, Thank You”

Finally, We Can Categorize This Insult More Thoroughly

If children are the future, expect the future to be just as insult-laiden as the present day, but more thoroughly so. A third grade┬ákid in Washington D.C. left a long, multiple-page manifesto, titled “Types of Bitches.” The taxonomy is pretty self-explanatory: there’s a bitch, and it fits a certain profile. Wondrous. Anything that keeps meContinue reading “Finally, We Can Categorize This Insult More Thoroughly”