Kevin Garnett Will Show You Dullards The Fine Art of Debating

Ladies and Gentlemen, Much has been made about this verbal confrontation between myself, Kevin Garnett, and Charles Villanueva, currently playing for the National Basketball Association’s Detroit Pitons. This much-ballyhooed misunderstanding has been reported on various social networking websites, as well as venerable sports reporting television and radio stations, such as ESPN, FOX Sports Network, andContinue reading “Kevin Garnett Will Show You Dullards The Fine Art of Debating”

Former Mrs. Jim Joyce: “Well That Just Figures”

TOLEDO, OH – When asked about her ex-husband, Umpire Jim Joyce, and his blown call that cost Detroit Tiger’s pitcher Armando Galarraga a perfect game, an indignant Eunice Hampton-Joyce said “Well, that just figures” through gnashed teeth. “He was wrong about everything,” nagged Hampton-Joyce, who claims to be happier alone than with Joyce. “How toContinue reading “Former Mrs. Jim Joyce: “Well That Just Figures””

John Wall ‘Extremely Disappointed’ Probable Selection By Washington Will Not Make Him Actual Wizard

RALEIGH, N.C. – NCAA Player of the Year John Wall said his initial cheer at the possibility of playing for the NBA in Washington was slightly less-enthusiastic after word that he would not actually gain the powers and abilities of a wizard if drafted by the team. The Wizards, who won last night’s NBA DraftContinue reading “John Wall ‘Extremely Disappointed’ Probable Selection By Washington Will Not Make Him Actual Wizard”

Clausen: “I’m Ready To Get Started Letting People Down Right Now”

NEW YORK, NEW YORK, NEW YORK – Former Notre Dame quarterback and projected-first-round draft selection Jimmy Clausen told reporters Thursday that, no matter who drafts him, he’s ready to start letting down that team’s fan base immediately. “I don’t have any illusions,” said Clausen, prepping for tonight’s primetime NFL Draft, “But I’m ready to goContinue reading “Clausen: “I’m Ready To Get Started Letting People Down Right Now””