Author Archives: Zack Stovall

Steve and a Law Enforcement Officer Reach An Impass About the Proper Conveyance To and From an Oyster Shack

Being from Arkansas, I am prone to the misguided attacks of wonton, unmerited accusations of a redneck ancestry that couldn’t be further from my proverbial roots. But yeah, this probably happened in Arkansas. Maybe not this episode specifically, but a man has definitely been taken down due to wackiness involving (homemade) alcohol and a (homemade)Continue reading “Steve and a Law Enforcement Officer Reach An Impass About the Proper Conveyance To and From an Oyster Shack”

A True Southern Patriot Previews the Upcoming Season Finale of ‘Project Runway’

To better connect with our audience for pop culture analysis, we are employing the services of someone who gets Real Americans and can share their values through his analysis. From Goose Knuckle, Alabama, here’s our pop culture correspondent, Danny Joe Hampel, Jr.: Nu-uh! Naw man! Nope! Not on my watch, they won’t! I can’t believe it! I justContinue reading “A True Southern Patriot Previews the Upcoming Season Finale of ‘Project Runway’”

Clausen: “I’m Ready To Get Started Letting People Down Right Now”

NEW YORK, NEW YORK, NEW YORK – Former Notre Dame quarterback and projected-first-round draft selection Jimmy Clausen told reporters Thursday that, no matter who drafts him, he’s ready to start letting down that team’s fan base immediately. “I don’t have any illusions,” said Clausen, prepping for tonight’s primetime NFL Draft, “But I’m ready to goContinue reading “Clausen: “I’m Ready To Get Started Letting People Down Right Now””

This Is How I Am Every Morning, Except With Loafers Instead of Flip-Flops

Everyone’s been to some sort of music festival where you get dirty and wasted and do stupid stuff. Now the somewhat-hilarious-but-probably-a-little-more-hilarious-if-you-were-there-or-if-you-knew-this-person activities therein can be shared with the masses on: THE INTERNET! Huzzah! A couple of notes here: What’s in the backpack, bro. Why is it only the right flip-flop that’s giving him the mostContinue reading “This Is How I Am Every Morning, Except With Loafers Instead of Flip-Flops”

If I Had A Nickel For Every Time Coolio Told Me He Was Going To Get Me Pregnant

Oh, some people never seem to grow up! My problem is I don’t know whether to love em or hate em! Mainly, I just laugh at their silly, silly antics and reserve a little green envy for their youthful ways. Like this Coolio character, you know, the one from the early-90’s? Why, he is just aContinue reading “If I Had A Nickel For Every Time Coolio Told Me He Was Going To Get Me Pregnant”

Cinema Secret: ‘Top Gun’ Was The Precursor to ‘Brokeback Mountain’

Googling “trailers recut” will unleash a fountain of hilarity, including Top Gun being gayer than two guys playing shirtless volleyball…wait, that was actually in the movie. Here are some other favorites: I always knew Meg Ryan was a man-handed MURDERER. Seriously, though. Look at her hands. They’re like the length of my thigh. Buddy filmsContinue reading “Cinema Secret: ‘Top Gun’ Was The Precursor to ‘Brokeback Mountain’”