Author Archives: Zack Stovall

Don’t Worry, Bidness Will Be Back Again Shortly

Sorry about the recent dearth of posting in the past few weeks. I’ve been performing a lot in the past couple of months, and am also hustling all kinds of exotic animals for money, both of which are time and energy-consuming. Also, unlike the foreign wildlife, this site doesn’t make me nearly as many dollarsContinue reading “Don’t Worry, Bidness Will Be Back Again Shortly”

Former Mrs. Jim Joyce: “Well That Just Figures”

TOLEDO, OH – When asked about her ex-husband, Umpire Jim Joyce, and his blown call that cost Detroit Tiger’s pitcher Armando Galarraga a perfect game, an indignant Eunice Hampton-Joyce said “Well, that just figures” through gnashed teeth. “He was wrong about everything,” nagged Hampton-Joyce, who claims to be happier alone than with Joyce. “How toContinue reading “Former Mrs. Jim Joyce: “Well That Just Figures””

Muppet Sam the Eagle Has A Memorial Day Message For All You American Women Out There

The Muppets are awesome. That is all you need to know. Happy Memorial Day, erryone.

I Would Never Do Anything To Ruin Our Friendship Like Poop My Pants

Not feeling particularly inspired on this day, so here’s a clip I like to call “Ole Faithful” since it makes me laugh absolutely every time I see it. Seriously. I had it bookmarked on my phone so I could watch it if I ever had to sit down for more than a couple of minutes. DonaldContinue reading “I Would Never Do Anything To Ruin Our Friendship Like Poop My Pants”

John Wall ‘Extremely Disappointed’ Probable Selection By Washington Will Not Make Him Actual Wizard

RALEIGH, N.C. – NCAA Player of the Year John Wall said his initial cheer at the possibility of playing for the NBA in Washington was slightly less-enthusiastic after word that he would not actually gain the powers and abilities of a wizard if drafted by the team. The Wizards, who won last night’s NBA DraftContinue reading “John Wall ‘Extremely Disappointed’ Probable Selection By Washington Will Not Make Him Actual Wizard”

Alabama Maintains That It Is Very Much In Your Face About Politics

I wrote earlier about Alabama gubernatorial (yes, I’m going to write that word out at every opportunity, because it’s hilarious) candidate Tim James’ campaign video and the subsequent parody that came afterward. Now comes another Alabaman who could care less for whatever I wrote, he’s gonna cram this knowledge down my, yours, and everyone else’sContinue reading “Alabama Maintains That It Is Very Much In Your Face About Politics”

Super Ridiculous Update: Coolio Gets Iced After Singing ‘Gangster’s Paradise’

UPDATE: SOMETHING IS GOING ON IN THE KITCHEN, BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S COOKING. Two favorite features here at ZGD – Coolio and Icing – have come together brilliantly the day after I purchased these ridiculously FLYYYY shoes. The video is here (fast forward to about 4:40 to see Coolio’s eyes on crack followed byContinue reading “Super Ridiculous Update: Coolio Gets Iced After Singing ‘Gangster’s Paradise’”

Just In Case You Were Wondering What Simpsons Fandom or Art In General Really Looks Like

Thanks for holding it down for me here on the site while I was in Memphis for BBQfest and the engagement festival of Captain America. I fought terrorism by eating nothing but BBQ for three straight days, until I broke down and had a lovely brunch. This video is of some company in Foggy LondontownContinue reading “Just In Case You Were Wondering What Simpsons Fandom or Art In General Really Looks Like”