APPARENTLY, singer/starlet/fashionista/PIONEER OF THE ARTISTIC FRONTIER LADY GAGA shrank herself down to the size of a standard little person and performed “Telephone” with an ALSO SRUNKÂ Beyonce. Gaga, known for going “way out there” and “being wacky”, has worn meat as a dress, plays piano through a gyroscope and SCREAMS instead of SINGS sometimes. But theContinue reading “HAS LADY GAGA GONE TOO FAR?!?”
Category Archives: Ransom Thoughts
To Do List For The Impending Armageddon on May 21, 2011
Guys, it’s been a good run. St. Louis’ Riverfront Times is reporting that a religious outfit from South Carolina has definitively determined that the end of the world will arrive with Christ on May 21, 2011. Most people, I must say, don’t have the luxury of knowing the exact date of their expiration or extinction.Continue reading “To Do List For The Impending Armageddon on May 21, 2011”
Uncle Phil Voicing TMNT’s Shredder Is The Last Fitting Piece That Is Shattering The Tetris Game of My Childhood
Not to sound like I’m formulated or a broken record but…COUPLE OF THINGS HERE: I loved Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to the point that I have to say that I currently love Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. My parents used to ask me, adorably I’m sure, what I wanted to be when I grew up. MyContinue reading “Uncle Phil Voicing TMNT’s Shredder Is The Last Fitting Piece That Is Shattering The Tetris Game of My Childhood”
Oh No…I’m Okay, I’m Okay…I Got This…I’M KING OF THE WOOORRRLLLLLAAAAUUUUGGGGHHUUUUUGGGGHHUUUAAAAAHHHH
Couple of things here: The second best part is the kid who was wiping up the first round of spew narrowly misses the second. I think it may be the only time the person holding the title of “Manager of Wiping Sweat and Sometimes Blood And Sometimes Even Puke Off The Mat” said to himself,Continue reading “Oh No…I’m Okay, I’m Okay…I Got This…I’M KING OF THE WOOORRRLLLLLAAAAUUUUGGGGHHUUUUUGGGGHHUUUAAAAAHHHH”
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME, PIZZA HUT
Okay, I’ve remonstrated before about the dangers of food ideas that looks great in toilets on paper, but probably shouldn’t be brought out in the light of day, but this one hits me WHERE IT HURTS: Pizza. For those of you who know me, you know I’m not exactly “fat,” but definitely not in shape.Continue reading “YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME, PIZZA HUT”
I Always Thought Busta Rhymes Was Weak, But Then I Saw Some Muppets Spitting His Rhymes
I’ve always stated that Muppet humor > most other forms of humor. Add a dash of gangsta and what’ve you got? MORE FUNNY. I always thought that Busta Rhymes was a little bit on the soft side, and maybe he is considering others out there in the hood world, but seeing Bert and Ernie chant “ANTEContinue reading “I Always Thought Busta Rhymes Was Weak, But Then I Saw Some Muppets Spitting His Rhymes”
BREAKING NEWS: Nic Cage Is Bad At His Job
INTERNET RULE: When four different people send you the same Youtube clip that you yourself have already seen, YOU MUST PUT IT ON YOUR OWN SITE. Here we have Nic Cage, VENERABLE ACTOR OF STAGE AND SCREEN, losing his mind in a variety of different film genres. You have him screaming in science fiction, inContinue reading “BREAKING NEWS: Nic Cage Is Bad At His Job”
A More Compelling Argument for Christianity, Family Reunions, and Vests Cannot Be Found
Alright, let’s take a breath really quick. You got it? You going to be okay? Little more time? Okay. So, we’re good? Good. Okay, okay, where to start. Let’s just talk about what we’ve seen okay? First off, what year was this made? The answer: It doesn’t matter, such music was never, ever popular. Punkpolka?Continue reading “A More Compelling Argument for Christianity, Family Reunions, and Vests Cannot Be Found”
You Don’t Know How Guilty I Feel That People Are Finding My Site By Searching DEMI LOVATO and CUTTING
A brief introduction to this site and to the notion of search engine optimization: This site is intended for humorous purposes only. I’m a humor writer, though not necessarily by trade, and this eponymous webbingspace, ZACKSTOVALL.COM, is simply a depot for me to store my thoughts, stories, articles, essays, what have you, so that myContinue reading “You Don’t Know How Guilty I Feel That People Are Finding My Site By Searching DEMI LOVATO and CUTTING”
Awesome For Awesome’s Sake
Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat’s awesome. I’ve talked about it before, but I think people who get to do these sorts of cool, sort of artsy, but undeniably awesome things and get to pay their bills with it are the luckiest so-and-so’s on the planet. Unless their luck is solely devoted to their projects, and the rest of theContinue reading “Awesome For Awesome’s Sake”
ZACK STOVALL 