Famous Last Words: Mine Will Be “I’m Standing Right Behind You”

“I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” – Winston Churchill

Above is a five minute video of some all-time best last words from the movies. Pretty boss. Famous last words are always pretty cool. I mean, that’s the last thing you’ll ever be heard saying, unless your like me, and have a well-hidden time capsule somewhere with some fantastic opinions to be heard by those in the future (Hint: It’s underground in my backyard but BEWARE: there’s dog crap all over that yard).

Last words are almost as cool as epitaphs. An epitaph is a tombstone reading. And while last words are cool due to their finality, epitaphs allow you to think about it before hand, and write it on your tombstone. Bad. Ass. Mine’s probably going to be “I’m Standing Right Behind You” just because I bet the undertakers will like watching all of my numerous visitors freaking out and quickly looking behind themselves. I bet undertakers are always really bored.

Problem is, my tombstone will likely just be a marker. I’m preferring to go out in a Viking (Benton Little League Panther Football Champs!) Funeral. That’s where they have a party for you, then they put you on a big sail boat and push you off into the ocean. Then, before you’re too far away, an archer lights the end of an arrow and shoots it through your sail, catching the entire vessel on fire, sinking your burned remains and everything else to the bottom of the ocean.

Like I said. Bad. Ass.

PS – Death doesn’t have to be morbid, folks.
PPS – I’m not suicidal, shut up.
PPPS – I know I haven’t posted in awhile. Whatevs, I do what I want. I DONWONT YUR LYFE.

Published by Zack Stovall

Writer living in New York, NY.

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