Author Archives: Zack Stovall

Weighing The Pros and Cons of Seeing ‘The Green Hornet’ Based On Thirty Second Ads

When you’re on a budget and eat as much expensive cereal as I do, you’ve gotta pick and choose which movies you’re going to pony up the dough to see in the theaters and which you’re going to wait until you can nab a DVD or can wait for three days to see from Netflix.Continue reading “Weighing The Pros and Cons of Seeing ‘The Green Hornet’ Based On Thirty Second Ads”

What To Do This Weekend: Gotta Gotta Get Up To Get Down

I don’t know what it is about me, but every Thursday evening to Friday afternoon, I get asked “What’s going on this weekend?”, even by people who live NOWHERE NEAR ME. Maybe it’s my sterling track record of competitive dance-offs. Maybe it’s my sharp dressing (Air Force Ones ONLY…and suspenders sometimes). Maybe it’s because whenContinue reading “What To Do This Weekend: Gotta Gotta Get Up To Get Down”

“EVERYBODY KNOWS I’M A MOTHERF*CKING MONSTER MUPPET” – Kanye West

I’ve already remonstrated how much I love Muppets. And I’ve already gone over how much I love it when Muppets rap. This is really well done. I can’t get enough of it. Go hard or go home. (via DonG lover)

MASTERFUL STROKE OF ARTISTIC GENIUS, LIFETIME ADVERTISING DEPARTMENT. SIMPLY MASTERFUL.

You can’t imagine how happy I was when I was going through my daily cat owner foibles message boards and saw this advertisement in the sidebar. “The Craigslist Killer” FINALLY coming to a Lifetime television station near you. I’m certain that with the quick, ripped-from-the-headlines turnaround of Lifetime’s crack squad of writers and healthy stableContinue reading “MASTERFUL STROKE OF ARTISTIC GENIUS, LIFETIME ADVERTISING DEPARTMENT. SIMPLY MASTERFUL.”

Zack’s Hate Mail From The Person Who Used To Live In His Apartment’s Stalker

In our offices, everyday it seems like Zack gets a piece of Hate Mail from just about any and everybody you could imagine. Here are some of the keepers: Dear Zack, Sorry to introduce myself to you like this, but I couldn’t bottle up my anger at you anymore. I’ve been stalking you since youContinue reading “Zack’s Hate Mail From The Person Who Used To Live In His Apartment’s Stalker”

I’M NAWT DOING THIS FAR ANYBODY BUT ME AND MAHK WAHLBERG

Couple of items on the agenda to get to today people, so strap in: Oh, Mark Wahlberg. You never cease to make me laugh without directly meaning to. Amy Adams was on Conan last night, talking about her upcoming role in the movie featured in that video up there, The Fighter. Having to be nitty-gritty SouthieContinue reading “I’M NAWT DOING THIS FAR ANYBODY BUT ME AND MAHK WAHLBERG”

This Expresses My Feelings On The Christmas Offerings of Children PRECISELY

Anyone who has kids, way younger siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, or spatially confused grandparents can tell you, these gifts?…These are not my kind of gifts. The messy photo covered in glue and glitter? THAT GLITTER GETS EVERYWHERE, KID. The crudely crafted construction paper Christmas tree? We’ve already got a dandy Christmas tree, and WHAT DIDContinue reading “This Expresses My Feelings On The Christmas Offerings of Children PRECISELY”

HAS LADY GAGA GONE TOO FAR?!?

APPARENTLY, singer/starlet/fashionista/PIONEER OF THE ARTISTIC FRONTIER LADY GAGA shrank herself down to the size of a standard little person and performed “Telephone” with an ALSO SRUNK Beyonce. Gaga, known for going “way out there” and “being wacky”, has worn meat as a dress, plays piano through a gyroscope and SCREAMS instead of SINGS sometimes. But theContinue reading “HAS LADY GAGA GONE TOO FAR?!?”