Author Archives: Zack Stovall
You Didn’t REALLY Think I’d Let You Go For The Weekend Without Showing You An Iguana Farting, Did You?
CHILD PLEASE. This is the most important thing on the Internet right now. Check it before you wreck it. Have a great weekend you guys. It’s Halloween, but remember, don’t celebrate it on the 31st, which is a Sunday, otherwise it’s straight to Hell for you. Doesn’t matter all the other great stuff you’ve doneContinue reading “You Didn’t REALLY Think I’d Let You Go For The Weekend Without Showing You An Iguana Farting, Did You?”
NERDALERT NERDALERT NERDALERT NERDALERT NERALERT
The funniest thing about this, and it’s just for me I guess, is that the look of “Whaaaa…?” that you’re likely giving this kid is the EXACT face my girlfriend gives me when I talk about fantasy football, Animorphs, or the addition or subtraction of two integers greater than 5. (h/t to John Schulte and hisContinue reading “NERDALERT NERDALERT NERDALERT NERDALERT NERALERT”
OMIGAHJUSTINBIEBERMOVIEOMIGAH OHCRAPIT’SIN3DIT’SIN3D OMIGAHOHCRAPOHMIGAH
OMIGAH I can’t believe it’s finally happening for me. FINALLY a movie that I can wait in line for days by camping out in a tent I don’t know how to construct. FINALLY we have a Best Picture contender that isn’t about stupid dreams or Facebook (even though Facebook is totally awesome [NEVER give upContinue reading “OMIGAHJUSTINBIEBERMOVIEOMIGAH OHCRAPIT’SIN3DIT’SIN3D OMIGAHOHCRAPOHMIGAH”
How to Win An Argument Against Your Wife/Girlfriend…When She Is Wielding a Knife
Having a little trouble in paradise, men? Is your significant other grinding your gears, gentlemen? Going round and round, bout after bout, day in and day out with the same problems every couple faces…and even some that most don’t, fellas? Is a ten-inch butcher knife involved, sir? Unfortunately, guys, this happens to almost everyone at least once, evenContinue reading “How to Win An Argument Against Your Wife/Girlfriend…When She Is Wielding a Knife”
Seriously, Don’t Tell Everyone That I Listen To Norah Jones On My iPod
6:56 AM THURSDAY MORNING Your Town, USA PowerPower Gym HEY MAN, ARE YOU GOING TO BE HERE ON YOUR LITTLE TREADMILL FOR AWHILE? ME AND SOME BROS WHO ARE ON THE WAY ARE ABOUT TO SLAM IRON, SO IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE, THAT’D BE AWESOME. YOU STAYING? SUIT YOURSELF, CHUBBS, BUT KNOW THAT WE’RE GOINGContinue reading “Seriously, Don’t Tell Everyone That I Listen To Norah Jones On My iPod”
Five Things I’ve Been Doing Since I Haven’t Been Doing This As Much
Took a little break from this beloved depot of mindless humor(ish) material, and in the meantime, people have been asking “Zack, WHAT have you been doing?” Well, sweet sassy molassy, I’ve been busy. Here are just five of the LITERALLY COUNTLESS things I’ve been doing, all of which are really, really important: 1. Watched aboutContinue reading “Five Things I’ve Been Doing Since I Haven’t Been Doing This As Much”
I’d Like To Think My Years of Adolescent Tae Kwon Do Lessons Would Be Valuable In a Bar Fight, But I Doubt It
There’s an unoften noticed flaw to being stocky, husky, or any other adjective that describes me and my fellow people who are described as not tall, but also of a portly build: people want to fight you. Maybe it’s not necessarily that they WANT to fight you, but it’s a fight that most people thinkContinue reading “I’d Like To Think My Years of Adolescent Tae Kwon Do Lessons Would Be Valuable In a Bar Fight, But I Doubt It”
Famous Last Words: Mine Will Be “I’m Standing Right Behind You”
“I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” – Winston Churchill Above is a five minute video of some all-time best last words from the movies. Pretty boss. Famous last words are always pretty cool. I mean, that’s the last thingContinue reading “Famous Last Words: Mine Will Be “I’m Standing Right Behind You””
ZACK STOVALL 