Zack’s Hate Mail from the Television Executive Who Signed Off on ABC’s ‘Cavemen’

In our offices, everyday it seems like Zack gets a piece of Hate Mail from just about any and everybody you could imagine. Here are some of the keepers:

Hey there Kid,

Listen, I’m doing you a favor here: Offering you some sound advice from someone who’s been in this media biz for longer than you’ve been in the breathing air biz. Here it is: Just quit while you’ve got enough dignity to muster into another line of work and leave forever. Get out now while you’ve got the chance. I’m practically begging you, NO! I’m literally begging you to stop whatever it is that you’re doing here. It is not a good idea.

And believe you me, I know all about bad ideas. Continue reading “Zack’s Hate Mail from the Television Executive Who Signed Off on ABC’s ‘Cavemen’”

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Zack’s Hate Mail from Joey of ‘Friends’

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In our offices, everyday it seems like Zack gets a piece of Hate Mail from just about any and everybody you could imagine. Here are some of the keepers:

Dear Zack,

I just came across this computer page, and I couldn’t be more upset. After getting someone to read this for me, I think you have serious psychobrain issues you need to address in a hurry. I mean, the violense, the inappropriate references, the blaytunt sexism! It’s all too, too much.

[Gives a sluttly-looking girl a wink]

Who do you think you are? Do you think you’re funny? I mean, you probably just sit alone in your chair, writing these stupid word collections, laughing to yourself and getting mad at everyone who doesn’t think you’re hilarious. Who’s laughing now, huh? Me! At you! Contribute something to society! Do you not have a job? Do you not having anything to show for yourself? You probably couldn’t even be more pathetic, not even if you tried.

[Changes out of one outfit into another from an inexpilicably well-funded and endless wardrobe] Continue reading “Zack’s Hate Mail from Joey of ‘Friends’”