Tag Archives: This is obviously fake

In Wake Of Recent “Cutting” Fad, Nerd With Perpetual Nosebleed Elected Homecoming King

CLEVELAND, OH – In the wake of a recent fad of self-mutilation, known in many circles as “cutting,” 5′ 4″, 91 lbs. senior Ernest Rittelmeyer has been deemed cool enough to be elected as Homecoming King for Benjamin Harrison High School in Cleveland as a direct result of his chronic nosebleeds. Rittelmeyer’s social status began toContinue reading “In Wake Of Recent “Cutting” Fad, Nerd With Perpetual Nosebleed Elected Homecoming King”

Obama Goes Ahead And Unveils Malevolent, Totalitarian Dictatorship

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Citing an inevitable shift of power from Democrats to Republicans over yesterday’s elections and an overwhelming public mandate, President Barack Obama is unveiling his plans for a malevolent and totalitarian dictatorship, effective December 1, 2010. “You know, you hear these grumblings from the right about me being a socialist, and a dictator,Continue reading “Obama Goes Ahead And Unveils Malevolent, Totalitarian Dictatorship”