In Wake Of Recent “Cutting” Fad, Nerd With Perpetual Nosebleed Elected Homecoming King

CLEVELAND, OH – In the wake of a recent fad of self-mutilation, known in many circles as “cutting,” 5′ 4″, 91 lbs. senior Ernest Rittelmeyer has been deemed cool enough to be elected as Homecoming King for Benjamin Harrison High School in Cleveland as a direct result of his chronic nosebleeds. Rittelmeyer’s social status began toContinue reading “In Wake Of Recent “Cutting” Fad, Nerd With Perpetual Nosebleed Elected Homecoming King”