Guys, Seriously? STOP Making Fun of Rebecca Black…She’s My Cousin and She’s Like Super Upset All The Time Now

Cut it out, guys. CUT IT OUT. I know you’ve all heard it and a lot of people are talking about it and mainly people are talking MAD CRAP about it but SERIOUSLY, guys. You’ve GOT to stop making fun of Rebecca Black. She’s my cousin, and ever since this video (THAT SHE WORKED REALLY HARD ON, BY THE WAY) came out, she’s been SUPER bummed out about it, like, all day everyday. She was JUST putting out a song that she thought everyone would like, because you can’t deny it: it’s super catchy and you can’t ever get it out of your head until you go to a death metal concert and take a nap under their woofers or something. IT’S THAT GOOD.

“Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs/Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal.” Preaching to the choir, Becky.

Look, what has she done that’s SO wrong? I mean, she’s 13 years old. She’s singing about what she knows and frankly, IT’S TOTALLY RELATABLE. Do you guys remember the TGIF shows on ABC? TGIF was the best thing on TV and I doubt it would’ve been that way had it been on Thursday or something stupid like that. I doubt there’s ever been any television or entertainment that anyone simply MUST see on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday. So what if the lyrics are a tad simplistic? SHE’S LEADING A SIMPLE LIFE RIGHT NOW, YOU GUYS. I mean, my Uncle Jim and Aunt Denise are going through a little bit of a rough patch right now, stuff’s still up in the air with who’s getting which kids, but they’re for sure not staying in that big house she grew up in anymore, because Jim lost his jobs, but SO WHAT IF SHE’S JUST LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING HER FRIENDS ON THE WEEKEND?

Don’t we all just want to ride around with our friends every now and then?

I mean, who HASN'T been here before?

She’s just been really, really sad lately. You’ve got people at her school who are making fun of her, and the students are making fun of her, too! She used to be really popular and had all these friends and stuff, then she did this music video and now, JUST BECAUSE EVERYBODY LOVES THIS STUPID GLEE SHOW, people throw slushies in her face. That’s expensive clothes, ya’ll! Cherry doesn’t even come out of some of the shirts, and a couple of them her dad threw in the dryer and now the stains are permanent. It’s really not fair that not only are her friends bailing on her, even the Girl Who Eats Her Hair up there, but now, EVERYONE IN THE WORLD knows who she is and writes really stupid comments up on her Youtubes.

I mean, not cool! Props to Blonde-with-Braces for being super cool and NOT bailing on Becky. My mom says Aunt Denise really appreciates it and – I don’t wanna spoil it – but you might get to go to Disney World with my family. YAY! DISNEY!

Disney World Dance!

So, seriously. You guys. Lay off Rebecca Black. She’s got her family and friends supporting her, she really doesn’t need people like you saying “She is missing half her brain,” “I wish I were deaf,” and “This sounds like Somneone trying to rip the piss out of bill bailey ripping the piss out of teenybopper songs.” One, she’s not missing half of her brain because she aced Spanish this year and that’s a WHOLE OTHER LANGUAGE. Two, ummm, not cool because MY OTHER AUNT, STACEY, TEACHES AT A DEAF SCHOOL, and three, uhh, I don’t even know what that means, because a.) who’s Bill Bailey? b.) I LIKE teenybopper music and 3.) you can’t rip piss because IT’S LIQUID.

Just be cool. If you’re cool, I might be able to see if she can come in town and do a little concert or just hang out or whatever.

Published by Zack Stovall

Writer living in New York, NY.

16 thoughts on “Guys, Seriously? STOP Making Fun of Rebecca Black…She’s My Cousin and She’s Like Super Upset All The Time Now

  1. Great take on this one Stovall. I was anxiously awaiting to see how you would handle such a fragile situation….being as how yall are related and all. But really, I dont care how old you are….this song makes you want to puncture your ear drum.

  2. I liked “Friday” before it became mainstream.

    I’m more into “My Jeans” by Jenna Rose. You probably haven’t heard of it yet.

    /Shitty teen pop hipster

  3. this song is stupid rebecca blacks song was stupid and anyone who likes this song is stupid. also the guys in both videos are ugly plus the people who were in the video are dumb because these videos are just crazy stupid. and i dont care if u dont like this because u can kiss my butt and then kiss ur your boyfriend or girlfriend because you guys really suck.
    ~have a lovely day~

  4. Anyone who hates on a 13 YEAR OLD, Is JEALOUS. F*ck All you bitches for trying to but rebecca down. You niggas wish you was her. & if i was a 13 year old who was famous, WOAH! I WOULDNT LET ANYONE SAY SHIT TO ME. TALK SHIT GET HIT BITCHES. @destiny brown, Fuck u mean they ugly? Bitchh dont try to make your self look good by sayin shyt about others. Anywayy, Rebecca is UH_MAZE_ING haha AMAZING! & I wasnt a big fan, but just cause ppl hatin’ on her, I WANNA BE HER BIGGEST FAN, & I WANNA DARE YOU BITCHES TO SAY SHIT TO MY FACE. Kk Byee. (:

  5. She’s a kid. She did something that a lot of people who speak depricative of her haven’t done, and probably never will. Even if it is just a teen anthem that most people can’t stand, unless you are attuned to the mindset of aspiring children who love the arts, then it can stand as that. That’s fine. Don’t like the song. My problem is that when thousands and thousands of people start being agressively abusive towards that child. It’s just music. It isn’t something to permenantly damage a childs life for. Good luck Rebecca.

  6. Explain this.. Thirteen year olds can drive now? also, the poor girl on the left needs some credit. Instead shes stuck dancing like a whale.

  7. i am here to say i’m not sorry for hating your cousin at all
    She should’ve developed her song and dance until she sounded Really good
    This is what i consider her first release and it’s so bad the kardashians make better music

    This is bad music in general and i don’t physically hate her
    She just should’ve waited to start this career

    She is talented than JB and kesha but she has no redemption for making this song
    P.S sorry for not taking her personal life into my simple critique of a singer’s first debut

  8. Ahh I found an outlet to make fun of her again. It was a shame when her youtube video stopped accepting comments after thousands of people made fun of her. I was afraid that I never would get the chance to do so. Rebecca black and you for that matter need to ,,l,, and live in a ditch. She will never be popular, and the whole world knows who she is now and will throw eggs at her when they see her.

  9. I’m getting really fed up of the critisism that she is getting she’s 13!
    She’s got her whole life ahead of her but whole loads of people are being petty little bullies to her and nobody i repeate nobody of that age can put up with that much bullying i mean most people of that age can’t even put up with 1/10th of what she’s having to put up with.
    I should know seeing as i was bullied pretty harshly until i was about her age.
    People should apologise to her and encourage others to do the same and if not i hope karma come’s round to get them for wreking an important part of a young girls life!

  10. Rebecca black is just a girl who made the video for fun leave her alone!!jenna rose same thing leave her alone too!

  11. I don’t think the poor little girl should be told to die or what not but seriously the song is terrible. It doesn’t even flow at all.

  12. Like I care about her right now I could careless about Her life. Face it the Girl can’t sing at all maybe of SHE STOP MAKEING SONGS ARE LIVES WOULD BE BETTER RIGHT NOW!

  13. I Understand about her first time singing she needs to first off think about the words that rhyme with the song and sing it to herself to see if it makes sense and when she done sing it to everyone to see what they think. P.S. IT’S HER LIFE AND DON’T CARE!

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