The Christmas Season has just passed, but the Season for giving and charity and hope and love is YEAR ROUND. I hope I can trust that all of you, my friends, will be willing to help out with this, the most worthy of causes:
I will be walking to my neighborhood grocery store and, with YOUR pledged support, will also be walking back having just purchased a modest amount of groceries. That’s about it.
Anything you can manage to donate will go toward helping those less fortunate than yourself, including people named me, as I march through
arduous conditions toward a nearby Schnuck’s, which for those uninitiated, is a grocery store full of food and some sundry household goods. For every step taken from my own manual door to Old Man Schnuck’s automatic opening doors, your pledge can fund a certain amount of that step. I can’t know the specifics of just how many steps your money can fund until I have that money, so please, send that money without delay.
Also, rest assured that none of your funds will go toward me selfishly purchasing food. I’m not looking for a hand-out or a meal ticket. I’m just wanting you to pledge your hard-earned money toward a worthy cause and know that I will work hard to earn it by walking a
While most if not all pledges offer money to charity in recognition for a certain feat that is charted in certain units, this pledge drive
dilutes wraps up all of this into one momentous event: One trip to the grocery store. One charity, me. Remarkably convenient, I KNOW.
Momentous, epic, arduous, worthwhile; these are all
apt words to describe the undertaking I am willing to surmount, so long as the charitable resources can be accrued from my charitable friends. The distance, according to the maps of Google, is roughly one-half mile, or TWO, YES TWO, laps around a standard track. I will be traversing this great and mighty distance on foot as my car battery is dead right now and I’m not going to have it towed 100 feet to that car garage I mean can’t they wheel their diagnostic thing to my car please? hoping it will be an accomplishment worthy of your generous donations. Not only that, but when I take up the second leg of my voyage, returning back from Schnuck’s, I will be carrying no less than THREE BAGS, hauling cereal, dried pasta noodles, a couple of cans of soup, and countless candy bars from the check out line back to my apartment, which again, is about a half mile away.
Pending enough donations, I may even attempt to lug an ENTIRE GALLON OF 2% MILK BACK ON MY JOURNEY HOMEWARD (without a cart or red wagon, mind you, as I’m not homeless or eight years old). I said that I’d be walking, didn’t I? One whole entire mile? Round trip? It’s going to be well worth your dollar, or even dollars.
Please, anything you can donate would be worthwhile. Your generous gift, while not tax-deductible, is rich with sentiments that will make you feel good about yourself and put money toward me walking somewhere. Thank you very much for your time. Click here to donate your funds.
I can’t wait to get to walking!
Thanks so much,
PS – I’ll also be accepting donations for a car wash in which I will wash only my own car, as well as an upcoming bake sale in which I will cook one Red Baron pizza in my own oven. THANK YOU SO MUCH!