I haven’t been following this whole Brett Favre texting his weiner to some people very closely. One website I follow pretty closely, Kissing Suzy Kolber, offered to show it to me, as one of their founders works for Deadspin, who unearthed the penis.
I declined. No, really, I’ve never seen it.
But luckily I have-…. NO, I HAVEN’T SEEN IT, I SWEAR TO GOD. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE BRETT FAVRE’S DONG. But luckily I have the sleepy village of Asia to re-enact every sordid detail of the event through the wizardry that is CGI. Yes, like Toy Story. Just like Toy Story. Only BETTER.
- I love the depiction of the NFL investigators. High fiving around an office, chest bumping, fist pumping. I like to imagine this is how it really is. “Oh yeah! We’ve been handling substance abuse cases ALL DAY, and FINALLY we get a dong-in-text! From BRETT FRIGGIN FAVRE! SCOOORE!”
- The Doghouse. Clinton. Tiger. Now, Favre. And they’re READY to PARTY!
All in all, pretty awesome.
Seriously, stop asking if I’ve seen Brett Favre’s weiner.