Is It Racist To Think The New ‘Death at a Funeral’ Isn’t Going To Be As Good As The Original?

Alright, this movie looks pretty good. Chris Rock is often hilarious, there’s a bit of an apparent Kevin Hart cameo, Martin Lawrence is all up in this and Tracy Jordan Morgan getting into an altercation with a curmudgeonly George Knox Danny Glover? Sounds like a recipe for awesome to me.

But wait…

OH SNAP!

This was one of my favorite movies of aught-seven, the nary-mentioned Bri’ish film Death at a Funeral. I mean, come on, THEY DIDN’T EVEN CHANGE THE NAME. OR THE LITTLE PERSON.

I’m not going to bash a film I haven’t seen yet, even if I’ve already seen the red-coat version three years ago. Heck, it’s possible I could like it even more, since it’s not said with that panache of authority I derive from the British vernacular. I just don’t think it’s going to match up to the original. A couple of points:

  • Frank Oz directed the original. Frank Oz voiced numerous Muppets over his career, and most importantly, is Yoda. I’m not even going to bother looking up who directed the new version. Trumps all, Yoda does.
  • Alan Tudyk (Steve the Pirate from Dodgeball) played Simon, the uptight boyfriend of the daughter of the deceased, who is drugged and does funny things when drugged. James Marsden (Scott Summers/Cyclops in X-Men) plays Oscar, the uptight boyfriend of the daughter of the deceased, who is drugged and does funny things when drugged. Also considered for the role were Ashton Kutcher, Sean William Scott, and this guy you met at a frat party one time who was like WHAAAAT.
  • SPOILER ALERT: Danny Glover’s character is supposed to poop his pants. I don’t know how I feel about that when Mel Gibson isn’t around.
  • They used the same little person to be the little person in this new movie. Were I a little person actor, I’d be pissed, because I’m sure there are only so many roles allowed for little people in a given year. Although I’ve seen this guy in so many roles, I bet he’s the go-to little person actor in the biz. See? Didn’t say midget once!…dammit.

So there it is. I’ll probably rent it. Or not. Or, better yet, wait for the Russian version, смерть на панихида,  which will be a bunch of wacky Russian people drinking vodka around a crudely-dug hole in the ground, grumbling about how cold it is at funerals. And one uptight guy, probably named Milosh, will be drugged, naked, and doing something funny. It’ll be like a trilogy.

Hope Peter Dinklage speaks Russian.

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