Just In Case You Were Wondering What A Proper Marriage of Success, Fun, and Athletic Prowess Looks Like

As well as I move, I move even better on eight wheels

OH LOOK AT ALL OF THIS AUGUST, QUICK-MOVING MAJESTY UP IN HERE.

This was me last week at a rollerskating “80′s Party.” I hear about 80′s parties all of the time. And everyone I go to, I never, ever see anyone else dressing like someone in their 80′s. I and my friends dress like octogenarians at everyone we go to and get these weird looks like “Whaaa?”

You know how I’m always talking about how that I’m fairly athletic, despite my rotund frame? I can move pretty well? Yeah? You’ve yet to see how graceful and smooth I move until you’ve seen me on skates. BEST BRING YA LUNCH.

But that’s in the past. And speaking of FRIGHTENINGLY GOOD ATHLETICISM, and the future itself, here’s my debut article for The Donnybrook Writing Academy: A Society for Cultural Advancement. It’s a fantastic humor site based out of Denver, The Sunshine State, that lampoons all of those stuffyheaded elites who lampoon we working types everyday at their leisure. I’m going to be expounding profusely on matters of sports and elitism, NATURALLY. I’ll be¬†writing under my actual name (J. Erstmill Chabbleshanks, Esq.), rather than my pseduonym, Zack Stovall.

What? You thought I actually wrote this website UNDER MY OWN NAME? What kind of fool do you think I am?!

So check out Donnybrook, and keep checking me out, and tell your friends and stuff. As a reward, more pictures of me displaying this God-given prowess o’ mine on the skates.

This is a super high-def camera that caught me at 124 mph with MINIMAL blurring

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