In our offices, everyday it seems like Zack gets a piece of Hate Mail from just about any and everybody you could imagine. Here are some of the keepers:
Monthly Archives: January 2011
How To And How To Not Compete And WIN Beauty Pageants
Two words: WEAK SAUCE. Like the Mom said, if beauty pageants weren’t about beauty they wouldn’t be called beauty pageants. Little girl needs to GROW THE EFF UP AND TAKE THAT SCALDING HOT WAX LIKE THE GROWN WOMAN SHE CLEARLY ISN’T. Those eyebrows that were removed? UNSIGHTLY. I guess. I don’t know I couldn’t really seeContinue reading “How To And How To Not Compete And WIN Beauty Pageants”
Can’t Say My Entire Perception of Male Cat Owners Isn’t Shattered By The Godfather Owning A Cat
When I moved into the apartment I’m in now, I had the understanding that a single man had occupied it previously. It had been uninhabited for some time, so while dusting behind the stove, under the dishwasher, etc., I was very disturbed to find what can only be described as a grown-man’s-dumpsworth of uneaten catContinue reading “Can’t Say My Entire Perception of Male Cat Owners Isn’t Shattered By The Godfather Owning A Cat”
Quick, I Need Injury Stories To Tell People Instead of Telling Them I Pulled A Muscle Sneezing Too Hard
EMERGENCY FREAK OUT TIME, HOMIES. I pulled or tweaked or otherwise injured a muscle in my back, like right in the middle on the left side of my back. This has made even the most menial leanings-over to get off the couch or bending over to pick up a slice of cheese that fell onContinue reading “Quick, I Need Injury Stories To Tell People Instead of Telling Them I Pulled A Muscle Sneezing Too Hard”
Weighing The Pros and Cons of Seeing ‘The Green Hornet’ Based On Thirty Second Ads
When you’re on a budget and eat as much expensive cereal as I do, you’ve gotta pick and choose which movies you’re going to pony up the dough to see in the theaters and which you’re going to wait until you can nab a DVD or can wait for three days to see from Netflix.Continue reading “Weighing The Pros and Cons of Seeing ‘The Green Hornet’ Based On Thirty Second Ads”
What To Do This Weekend: Gotta Gotta Get Up To Get Down
I don’t know what it is about me, but every Thursday evening to Friday afternoon, I get asked “What’s going on this weekend?”, even by people who live NOWHERE NEAR ME. Maybe it’s my sterling track record of competitive dance-offs. Maybe it’s my sharp dressing (Air Force Ones ONLY…and suspenders sometimes). Maybe it’s because whenContinue reading “What To Do This Weekend: Gotta Gotta Get Up To Get Down”
“EVERYBODY KNOWS I’M A MOTHERF*CKING MONSTER MUPPET” – Kanye West
I’ve already remonstrated how much I love Muppets. And I’ve already gone over how much I love it when Muppets rap. This is really well done. I can’t get enough of it. Go hard or go home. (via DonG lover)
MASTERFUL STROKE OF ARTISTIC GENIUS, LIFETIME ADVERTISING DEPARTMENT. SIMPLY MASTERFUL.
You can’t imagine how happy I was when I was going through my daily cat owner foibles message boards and saw this advertisement in the sidebar. “The Craigslist Killer” FINALLY coming to a Lifetime television station near you. I’m certain that with the quick, ripped-from-the-headlines turnaround of Lifetime’s crack squad of writers and healthy stableContinue reading “MASTERFUL STROKE OF ARTISTIC GENIUS, LIFETIME ADVERTISING DEPARTMENT. SIMPLY MASTERFUL.”
ZACK STOVALL 